Am ii ... okay ? ..

This is the holidays ..
the two weeks holidays ..
ii went to a trip .. a trip , that should be happy , awesome , and maybe it will be meant alot to me ..
alot .. those epic thing ii have thought before .. just , gone .. like this ..
everything just blow away . from me ..

Trip goin on .. Honestly , there is a disappoint , in my heart ...
moody , mad , frustrated , annoyed .. even feel like crying ~
why ? idk .
no one understand my feelings .
even ii told u everything .. every single thing ..

you , are not the same ..
you are more special in my heart ..
but now , its not special for me anymore .

ii cant get u sometimes .. everything changed
even the trustable you , cant understand me ..
all my words , all those alphabet ..
cant you just be more understand , cant you just stand at my side and think for while ?

iim totaly regret .. regret everything tht i did .
everything goes wrong .. everything went out of control .
this is all wad ii dont expect to be , but it just happened like this ..

ii told her .. told her bout this ..
and ii knew , from tht moment , she is more understanding than others ..
ii knew her , just for few months . but  you .. years .. why ?
the realationship btw us , is no any warmth ..
cold , its colder thn wad ii dont expect .

ii used to told u everything .
sometimes , u let me know , how mature u are .. as a fren , u show me , how ii should and gotta be ..
sometimes , u let me feel , the warm tht u had , whn iim sad , whn ii need you to be there for me ..
sometimes , u let me feel , funny happy , u try hard to make me laugh , try hard to maintain our name .. B ..F F ...
sometimes , u share your words , your life , you everything to me .. ii will know how sad u are .. will try to comfort you , like how u comfort me whn ii sad ..
somtimes , u let me  feel diffrent , bcux we dont shown how good are we in lifes , but in words ..thts how special we are.

But sometimes , u let me feel sad , disapoint .. sometimes u will bother me for while if u feel happy in tht moment . but whn u moody , dont feel like reply .. u will just let me be the stupid jackass , waiting for u to reply .
the only reason ii will wait , is dont want you to be like me , waiting for reply . like a dumpass
Sometimes , u think iim happy , u just think tht actually , nothing happen , all the thing had passed , so .. u will think tht ii wont feel sad bout it .. this shown tht , u dont even understand me ..
You like to win .. no lose in your mine is allowed . whn arguement btw us started . yeah , maybe yes , sometimes you are right , but whn things show tht u are wrong , u will not admit it eventhough u know u are wrong and just talk rubbish to let u feel good , let u feel tht your words are meaningful and thoughtful .. eventhough how thoughtful ppl's word is , u wont really care bout it , all u care , is your own , your own rights , not bother others feelings , no comfort ..

everytime , our arguement got no fullstop . u know why
bcus , wad ii told u , is just all rubbish for you , the only thing is right .. is wad u said.
u will say , u understand , u know , but u dont know ..
whn u are wrong , u will deny it , or just - where got ? did i ? -
why tht attitude ? .. sorry , is also not part of your life .. why ? bcux u wont use tht even we got proof tht u were wrong .
ii dont get it ..
 ii feel .. strange , bout u and everything right now ..
idk why ..

ii told her everything bout my life .. wad happen , wad ii use to do , how ii use to be , who is my besties , who ii like , everything .
she know me well .. understand me well
wont leave me alone ..
u use to did all tht to me , even good morning , evening , nights , texting always .. msning always .. FB chat box anytime , anyplace . everything diffrent ...

ii know u will start explaining every single thing if u saw this , but dont . dont explain .. bcux ii know u will find tones of reasons again ..
wad can ii do ? right ?
u got new frens , new lifes ..
wad can ii do to change you ..
its not worth .. bcux at last , it will be the same ..

iim tryin hard to maintain .. maintain our realationship ..
bcux ii know , we are good in words life , but not realife ..
wad we can do , is chat .. hanging out ..
iim trying , but do you ?
our name , BFF ..
ii dont feel like it can last any longer ..
BFF .. is just wad u told me , tht .. will not achieve ..
ii think , its just a compliment for our frenship ..

iloveyouTT . cry..outloud ..
aubreylovesyoualways .TT